Already Gone
by C-Rokkk
Summary: A member of the team is dead and Tony is having a hard time with it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone!**

**I know, this isn't a new chapter of Too Close, and I haven't forgotten about that. I have been working on it a little, but I'm kind of stuck with massive writer's block, and until I get over it I'm afraid there isn't going to be a new chapter of it. **

**This came to my mind when I was thinking of how they'd bring Ziva back when (when, not if) they do. This is what I came up with. Tell me what you think when you get to the end, and hopefully I'll have a new chapter up before the end of the month. **

* * *

><p>McGee walked up to his partner and stood beside him, sticking his hands in his pockets, just as Tony was. There was silence between the two men for a while until McGee let out an audible sigh and looked over at him.<p>

"Sad."

Tony nodded, "Yeah."

"Rookie mistake."

Tony took one of his hands out of his pockets and ran a hand through his short hair, "Yeah." They watched as people headed towards their vehicles, all in black suits and black dresses, some with badges around their neck, others with tissues and smeared mascara on their faces.

"What's next?" McGee asked. Their eyes still didn't meet.

Tony finally tore his stare at the nothing he was staring at to look at McGee, "No idea." He walked away from him, walking towards his car. Abby walked up and grabbed Tim's arm.

He looked down at her and sighed, "He's pretty torn up."

Abby looked back up at him, "He blames himself."

Tim scoffed, "It wasn't his fault."

Abby nodded in agreement, "That's what I told him."

"She wanted to leave."

"Even though it was dangerous." Tim sighed and looked up at the boss when he walked up to the pair.

"Go home. Get some sleep." Gibbs told them, "It's been a long few days."

McGee narrowed his eyes at the silver haired man's tone, "You okay, boss?"

Gibbs looked at his agent and put his hand on Tim's shoulder, "This is part of the job, McGee."

Tim nodded, looked at Abby and then back up at Gibbs, "The part I hate." Gibbs nodded and leaned over to kiss Abby on the cheek, then squeezed Tim's shoulder again.

"Go home. Report tomorrow at noon."

Both Tim and Abby nodded and Gibbs walked away. "He's nice again." McGee said.

Abby pressed her lips together, nodded, and started walking with McGee towards the parked cars, "He's sad, Timmy."

Tim draped his arm across her shoulders, "Yeah."

"You wanna go watch a movie?"

Tim nodded and squeezed her shoulder, "That might be good."

Tony sat at the bar, sipping on the amber liquid in his glass. He held up his head with his left hand, swirling the liquid to match his swirling mind.

He finished the rest of the liquor, stood and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. He placed two fives on the counter and headed out the door. He decided to walk home, since he needed to clear his mind and that seemed the best way.

It was impossible, Tony was sure, to really wrap his mind around what happened.

He told her to wait.

He told her to go home and stay there.

But she didn't listen.

He ran a hand through his hair as his mind went back to what happened, exactly one week ago.

_Gibbs watched as DiNozzo freed the guy he had been chasing for a week from his handcuffs. The man had an unapologetic smirk on his face, and Gibbs wanted to use the gun on his side to wipe it off. The man and his escort stepped on the elevator, the last time they would see the bastard. _

_Gibbs looked at his three agents, each of them staring back at him. He sighed and nodded once, "Go home. It's been a long week." _

_McGee and Tony nodded, but Bishop only stared at her boss as he walked to the elevator. _

_Tim and Tony began to gather their things, but their partner still sat there, not moving with a look of disbelief on her face. _

_The senior field agent looked up at her, "Let's go, Bishop. Get your things." _

_She shook her head, "He can't just be allowed to go free."_

_Tim was now in front of her desk with his gear, "He's got diplomatic…"_

"_I know what he's got!" She yelled. _

"_We don't have control over some things." Tim responded, "This is one of them."_

_She stood quickly, added her gun to her side, and threw her backpack and purse over her shoulder, "Unbelievable. I can't believe you two are letting this happen. And Gibbs? How is he letting this happen? The man crashed into a bus with 16 people on board, 4 of them children, just because he didn't like somebody on it!" _

"_We know the case, Bishop." Tony had now joined Tim in front of her desk, "You need to let it go."_

"_How are you two not…furious? I don't understand."_

"_There's nothing…"_

_She pointed at McGee to make him stop speaking, "If you say that to me one more time, I'll hurt you. There has to be something we can do."_

_Tony sighed again and walked around her desk, sitting on the corner of it and blocking her exit path. "Bishop. Go home, take a bath, get a glass of wine and spend time with your husband. Forget about that bastard. You know that you did everything you could to bring the man down, that's all that matters. There's nothing else for you to do. Let it go." _

_She shook her head, sighing softly, "Fine, Tony. Fine." _

_He stood up and she walked past him, crossing her arms as she pressed the down button on the elevator. "Bishop." Tony called. She looked at him as the doors popped open, "You're going home, right?"_

_She nodded and stepped onto the elevator. There was a silence in the office until Tim looked over at Tony, "She won't do anything stupid, right?" _

_Tony sighed, "I hope not." _

The elevator ding at his apartment snapped Tony back to reality. He sighed and stepped onto it, pressing the 4 and leaning against the back of the elevator, closing his eyes for the short ride to the fourth floor.

He stayed that way until he heard someone stopped the doors from closing. It was the new girl, a blonde with blue eyes and long golden legs. She'd smiled at him from time to time, and Tony did too, but this time was different.

He didn't feel much like smiling.

She nodded and smiled at him when she got on and pressed button for the 5th floor. The doors closed in front of them and then it was put in motion. She took two steps back so that she was even with him.

"Hi." She said softly, and he turned to look at her.

"Hey." He replied.

"Nice suit."

Tony examined his own wardrobe, his funeral attire, a black suit with a black tie, and his badge on his hip with the black band over it. He looked over at her, but then looked at the wall instead, "It's my least favorite."

She looked at him like she was concerned, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did someone you are close to pass away?"

He glanced at her, swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke softly, "I didn't know her that long, but we were becoming good friends." Was he seriously telling this to this woman that he's never even spoken too?

She reached over and touched his arm, "Oh, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Tony looked at her again. Three years Ago, he would've said something slick that would lead to a kiss, then the kiss would lead to sex, which was not a solution to his current problems, but it would, he was sure, make him feel better.

But he wasn't that guy anymore, so he shook his head and moved his arm away from her touch. She looked down at the floor, and Tony could only assume that she was expecting more from him, and now she was embarrassed. "No, thank you. I'm fine." The doors opened to his floor and he stepped out, turning back to her again, "Thanks for your kindness."

She put on a small smile and nodded at him, "Take care."

He stood there long enough to watch the doors close again. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair as he dug in his pocket for his keys.

He got his door open and stopped immediately in the entranceway.

Something was different. He looked around with his eyes without taking a step. He put his hand on the gun on his side and slowly pulled it out of his holster so that it didn't make a sound.

He rounded the corner of his living room and into the kitchen only to find it empty. Crossing back through the living room, he opened his room door and his heart rate sped up to the point where he thought he was going to faint.

She stood in the corner of his room, her back against his wall with her arms crossed, "I see you have a bigger bed."

He lowered his weapon and held it down by his side. He was staring at her, dumbfounded.

She was in the USA.

She was in DC.

She was in his _apartment_.

He had to take a big breath before he spoke, "Hi."

She smiled, pushed herself off of the wall and took a few steps toward him, "Hello."

He was still staring at her as he put his gun back into its holster and pulled the entire set off of his belt, "What are you doing here?"

She looked away from his handsome face for a second and then at him, responding with a shrug. "I was in the neighborhood."

He chuckled for several seconds, finally breaking his stare. "I find that hard to believe."

He stepped back into the living room, walking over passed the door and back to the gun box. He put it inside and closed it, stepping over to feed Kate.

She followed him and sat down on his couch as he took off his suit jacket and began to roll up his sleeves. He left the room she was in again and walked into the kitchen. She wondered if he was avoiding her, but he returned a few seconds later with a glass with ice inside of it.

He poured himself a glass of whiskey but offered it to her, knowing she'd decline. He sat on the piano bench across from her, resting his elbows on his knees and swishing the liquid around in his glass.

She waited a while before she spoke, just to see if he would speak first. "How have you been?"

He took a sip and continued to stare at the floor, "Fine."

Ziva took a breath and ran a hand through her hair. There was a weird vibe in the air, and she didn't understand why. He said he understood why she needed to leave NCIS and the United States, so why was he acting this way? She watched him as he finished his drink.

It was so silent when he spoke again that he made her jump. "You uh, never told me why you're here, Ziva."

She stared at him, unsure of how to answer his question. It would be a lie to tell him that she didn't miss him, because she did, but it wasn't just him. She missed everything: her job, her friends and her family. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she spoke softly, "Would you like me to leave?"

Tony was stirring his ice around with his finger, "Do you have a place to stay?"

She swallowed and stood, "No, but I will find something."

Tony stood and walked around the coffee table, blocking her path, "Why are you here?"

He asked her again. She looked up at him, "Does it matter?" His green eyes were sparkling from the dim lamp in his living room, but his expression answered her question via non-verbal communication. She licked her lips, "I wanted to see you." She was admitting it to herself as well as to him.

He closed his mouth and spoke just as soft as she did, "That's the best you could come up with?"

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows and took a step away from him. She understood why he might've been upset with her for leaving the way she did, but now she was here in front of him and didn't think she deserved to be given such the cold elbow, "What is your problem?"

"I don't think it's appropriate for you pretend that you're here for any other reason than to get your job back."

She crossed her arms and stepped backwards again, "That is not why I am here, Tony."

Tony chuckled, "So it's just a coincidence that on the day we have a funeral for one of our team members you show up?"

Ziva's face changed from annoyed to concerned immediately. The cab she got out of at his apartment took her straight from the airport. She hadn't spoken to anyone else, and nobody else even knew she was in the States. Her heart rate sped up to about a million beats a minute at the thought of it being McGee or Gibbs they buried today. "No. Who?"

Tony studied her face and decided that she genuinely didn't know about his dead co-worker, "Bishop."

She looked up at the ceiling as she tried to remember whom Bishop was. "I do not think I knew him."

Tony sat down on the couch behind him. He was too tired to fight with her standing up. "Clearly you didn't, because Bishop was a woman."

She nodded once, stepped over to him and put her soft hand on his shoulder, "I am sorry."

He looked over at her hand. How could this woman, who he hadn't spoken to in nine months, who ignored every phone call, email and post card he sent her, who obviously didn't care if he knew whether she was dead or alive, _still_ had the power to make his hair stand up when she touched him?

He'd never know.

He swallowed and shook his glass with the ice in it again, breaking the silence,  
>"Thanks." He said softly, and when she moved her hand, he missed the contact. She sat down beside him as he stared at the wall, "It should have been me."<p>

His words stabbed her in the chest like a knife and made her skin prickle. She shook her head quickly, "No, Tony."

He replied with a nod, "Yeah." He stood, walked over to his liquor storage and poured himself another drink. "She had a family. She had a husband and they wanted children. It's not in the cards for me." He sipped on the brown liquid again, "I should've tailed her. I should've stopped her."

Ziva stood and walked over to him again, "You can not sit here and drink yourself into depression."

He put up a stop sign towards her, "You weren't there, David." She furrowed her eyebrows and took a step backwards. Before she could respond, he shook his head and reached for her hand, but her instinct was to pull away from him. "I'm sorry. I'm tired."

Ziva sighed, nodded once and took a couple of steps towards his bedroom. He looked at the floor and by the time he looked back up, she had gotten her bag from his bedroom.

"I should go." She waited for a few seconds to see if he would say anything else, and when he didn't, she walked towards the door and turned the handle slowly.

"Ziva." She stopped with one foot in the hallway and leaned back so that she could see him. "You should go home. "


	2. Chapter 2

"Dials, come on. Abby's waiting on us at the café." McGee called, putting his watch on his right wrist and walking to his closet to add his jacket and pull his girlfriend's down as well.

"Just finishing my hair, give me five minutes."

Tim fell back on his couch with a thump and a sigh. Since moving in with his beloved, he never made it on time for anything.

Another five minutes passed and Tim looked down at his watch again. He groaned and pulled out his phone, sending a text to his favorite scientist that they would get there as soon as possible.

Just as he closed the cell phone, there was a knock on the door. He rolled his head to look at it, and then stood from the couch, walking over to it.

He swung the door open and he was pretty sure his mouth hung open at what was on the other side.

The Israeli pulled the corners of her mouth up for a genuine smile, "Hello, McGee."

Tim had to let his brain catch up so that he could speak again, "Ziva! Hi!" He pulled her into a hug, and she returned it tightly. Once they backed up from each other, he let her in and closed the door, "How have you been?" He asked her, but then looked up to find Delilah staring at them from her wheelchair. "Oh, that's right, you two don't know each other. Ziva, this is my girlfriend, Delilah."

Ziva smiled at the woman and reached to shake her hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, I've heard so much about you!" Delilah returned.

"So how have you been? Are you here to visit or…?"

Delilah answered before Ziva could, "Tim, we've got to go…" 

"Oh yeah, Delilah and I are going to have lunch with Abby, would you like to join us?"

Ziva shook her head, "No, I do no want to mess up your plans. Please go, we will talk later."

"No, please come, Abby will be so thrilled, and even better it will give us a great excuse for being so late. Ow!" He held his arm where Delilah hit him.

Ziva chuckled, "Well if you are sure..."

"Yes, come on."

Abby stood with her parasol on the corner next to the team's favorite café, looking back and forth at the traffic that passed her.

Once she spotted Tim she waved at them, and just as Tim's did, Abby's mouth fell open when she spotted Ziva walking behind them.

She started in a jog and then into a sprint as she jumped on Ziva for a hug, "Oh my God, what are you doing here? I can't believe you're here! I've missed you!"

Ziva squeezed her friend equally as tight. She missed these people. She loved these people. "I have missed you, too, Abby."

Once Tim finally managed to get the two women apart, Ziva and Delilah continued into the café. When the agent tried to follow, Abby pulled his arm to stop him, "What's wrong?" She widened her eyes as she looked to make sure Ziva and Delilah were out of earshot, "We can't tell her."

McGee looked at the doors and then back at Abby, "Tell her what, Abs?"

She rolled her eyes and stomped her foot like the agent should already know what she was thinking. "About Tony!"

Tim thought for a second and then nodded when he figured it out, "Well, yeah, but she's going to find out eventually."

Abby shook her head, "We can't tell her, at least, not right now. Tony should be the one to tell her."

McGee sighed, "Yeah. That's gonna be hard for him."

Abby nodded, "I think he still loves her, but he never knew how to tell her."

Tim scrunched his eyebrows together, "I thought you liked Vanessa."

She sighed and looked into the café again, "I do, but I love Ziva. I don't want to see her hurt."

Inside, Ziva and Delilah laughed at one of Ziva's Tim stories and then looked out at Abby looking in, "What do you think they are talking about?" Ziva asked.

Delilah bit her lip with the answer she wanted to give her new friend, but she was saved when the waiter walked up to their table, "What can I get for you ladies?"

Ziva pointed to the doors as Abby and Tim finally walked towards their table, "We should give them time to look."

Once the two of them returned to the table, Delilah handed them a menu, and quickly reached to her purse to grab her ringing cell phone.

"Excuse me for a second guys." She said, moving away from the table to answer the call.

"So, Ziva, what have you been up to?" McGee asked her.

Ziva finished sipping on her water, "Well, traveling, mostly. I visited a few of my friends that I have not seen in ages, visited my Aunt Nellie…" 

She trailed off when Delilah returned to the table, seemingly in a panic, "Timmy, we've got to go. Sabrina was just in an accident."

Everyone at the table became concerned, "What? Who is she? Is she okay?" Abby asked.

Tim was already standing next to his girlfriend, "She's my best friend. She says she's fine, but she's really scared and shaken up. Her boyfriend is a pilot so he's not in town and I'm the only…"

"Go. We will see you guys later." Abby told them.

With another wave, the two were out of the restaurant heading towards their car.

The two remaining women sat there awkwardly, small talk about the weather, rumors around NCIS and Abby's recent dates. Out of the corner of her eye, Ziva noticed Abby staring at her, but when she'd look at her, Abby would immediately turn her head. "Abby." She said, causing Abby to look at her mid-bite "Is something wrong?"

Abby took two more bites of her sandwich before looking at Ziva again, "Have you been to see Tony yet?"

Ziva looked down at her salad and put her fork down, looking back at Abby. "Yes, I have."

Her friend turned her head, "Oh, you have?"

"Last night." She stared at Abby for a few seconds before looking away and picking up her fork again, "He was not happy to see me."

"I don't think that's true, Ziva." Abby replied.

"He told me that I should go back home."

Abby's mouth fell open, "He told you that? That's so mean! This is your home!"

Ziva lifted one shoulder, "He is entitled to his opinion." The scientist took out her cell phone and began to rapidly type a message when Ziva put her hand on top of it, "Abby, no."

"I can't believe he told you that. He's going through a lot but that is no excuse to-"

"He is going through a lot?"

Abby's eyes got bigger and she put her phone down to pick up her sandwich. When she finished chewing her bite, she turned to find Ziva still looking at her, waiting for an explanation. She sighed, dabbed her mouth with her napkin and looked at Ziva again. "You should really talk to him again, Ziva."

The Israeli shook her head, "Why? What is wrong?"

"Well, nothing, physically. He's pretty messed up about Bishop, we all are. Bishop was great."

Ziva nodded, "Yes, I was sorry to hear about your teammate and friend."

"And his Dad was sick for a while, but he's doing better now." 

Ziva scrunched her eyebrows, "What happened to him?"

"Had a minor heart attack."

She shook her head and stabbed a few pieces of lettuce with her fork. "I had not heard."

"When is the last time you've talked to anybody?"

Ziva continued to flip her fork over, "About two months."

Abby nodded and watched as the waiter returned again to fill up their glasses and take their plates, "You should talk to him again."

"What else, Abby?"

She sighed and looked at her friend, "You should go see him."

Ziva put her fork down and sat back in her chair.

What was everybody hiding from her?

Tony stood in the traffic of the busy airport, looking around the many people that were coming from the aircraft.

He put on a smile and held his arms out when he spotted her. She squealed and jumped into his arms, planting a kiss on his lips. He swirled her around in the airport and finally put her back on the ground, kissing her deeply.

"I missed you so much." She said, holding his face to hers and kissing him again.

"Me too." He said in between kisses. He moved away from her and picked up her bag, throwing it over his shoulder and grabbing her hand. "So? How was it? The pictures you sent me were beautiful."

She sighed happily, "It _was_ beautiful. I wish you were there. The beaches were crystal clear and the weather was perfect. At night we went to all kinds of restaurants and drank wine and talked about everything. Melissa and Elizabeth were awesome roommates and travel buddies."

"Sounds amazing. I may have to crash your next all girls trip."

She squeezed his arm and laid her head on his shoulder as they walked. "We'll definitely have to go together. Bora Bora is my new favorite place."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, "Well, I'm glad you had a great time, but for selfish reasons, I'm glad you're back."

She smiled again at him and leaned up to kiss him as they stopped at baggage claim. "I'm so sorry about Bishop."

Without looking at her, Tony nodded, "Yeah."

"She was your friend."

Tony looked up at the ceiling, "Yeah."

"Hey, don't do that. Talk to me."

He sighed and finally looked at her, "I'm okay. She was my friend." He shrugged a shoulder, "I've dealt with it before."

She nodded, "Okay. You seem sad."

He looked away from her again, "I'll be fine."

"How are Abby and Tim taking it?" Tony spotted her pink bag with flowers and stepped forward to grab it.

He put her carry on over his shoulder and carried the other in his hand; "They're uh, taking it okay."

They continued walking towards the parking lot when she looked up at him again. She bumped him with her shoulder, "Hey, are you really okay?"

He looked down at her, sighing, "Yeah. I'm fine. Just haven't been sleeping well."

She smiled at him again, "What have you been thinking about?"

He put her items into the trunk and sat down in the drivers seat, buckling his seatbelt. After he put the car into drive again, he reached over and took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

She looked at him, "Tony, you never answered my question."

He lifted his eyebrow, "What question?"

She sighed, but then smiled, "I asked you what have you been thinking about?"

Tony smiled back at her and squeezed her hand, "Oh, a lot of things." He stopped with the words that sat on the tip of his tongue. He couldn't possibly tell her the truth. His mind was a whirlwind lately, with one thing weighing heavily on it-Ziva.

As hard as he tried, he couldn't get the fact that she was back out of his mind.

He was happy now.

Or, at least he thought he was.

He snapped back into reality when one of the lights turned green and the car behind him blew their horn. He realized that she was staring at him, still waiting on him to answer her question. "I've been thinking about you." Vanessa let a smile creep up on her face and then blushed, "I'm glad you're back."

She smiled at him again and leaned up to turn the knob on the radio, "I had a great time, and I'm glad I saved up for it, but I'm glad to be home."

Tony was pulling into his driveway when his cell phone rang from its position on his hip. He groaned as he answered it. "DiNozzo."

She watched him as he listened to the male voice on the other side. She knew from experience when he asked 'where' that it meant he was about to leave for a crime scene. "You've got to go, huh?"

Tony sighed and looked at her, "Yeah." He got out of the car and opened the trunk, pulling her bags out and handing them to her. "I'm sorry. We're on call this weekend."

Vanessa waved her hand, "It's no problem. I'll head back to my place and we can see each other tomorrow." She watched his face for his reaction, but when he didn't give her one, she spoke again, "Unless you want me to stay here and be here when you get back." She stepped closer to him and kissed his chin. "I could have the bath ready for you."

Tony lifted the corners of his mouth, "It will be pretty late when I get back. You're probably tired from the trip."

She shrugged a shoulder, "I'm not that tired."

He sighed, "Well, depending on how cranky Gibbs is, I could be gone all night. I don't want you to force yourself to stay awake when you have to be exhausted."

She furrowed her eyebrows; "I have to go back to work tomorrow."

"Look, honey, I don't think it's fair to you to stay up waiting on me. Why don't you go home and get some rest, and if it's not too late when I get done with work, I'll come to you."

She stepped back from him, her smile removed from her face. It wasn't the plan she liked or wanted, but it was pointless to argue with him when he was in this sort of mood, "Okay. If you're sure."

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her, "I'll let you know either way."

She nodded and walked away from him, towards her car parked on the street.

Vanessa couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something different about her boyfriend.

Several hours later, Tony slowly walked towards his apartment door, tired and exhausted from the night's events. He and McGee had a 5-hour break, just enough time to grab a PBJ and sleep for a few hours before having to be back to the office.

He was looking down at his hands, flipping through his keys to find the one that would unlock his door. When he looked up again, he saw the Israeli standing against the wall, her arms crossed, her left leg over her right.

Tony sighed and walked passed her as if he didn't see her standing there. She rolled her eyes in response and turned to him.

"Why are you acting like this?"

He still didn't look her, "Acting like what?"

She sighed, "I do not even know why I am trying." 

"Neither do I." He finally got the door opened and walked inside, closing the door almost all the way, but pulled it back open just before it clicked.

He stepped outside and watched as she walked towards the elevator, "What do you want, David?"

She turned to look at him, waving a hand, "Never mind. Apparently it is not important."

"Well I guess it is, because you stood here waiting on me. And standing here arguing with you is only taking away precious sleep minutes, so, what do you want?"

"Go to sleep then, DiNozzo. You will not have to worry about me anymore, I will leave you alone since that is what you want."

He sighed and rubbed his face and looked at the elevator doors as they opened. It was wrong, the way he was treating her. And he knew it. They were close friends; he would probably say she was his best friend, before she left. There wasn't any reason they couldn't be like that again. They just needed to sit down and have a conversation. "No, it's not what I want. I'm sorry." 

She stepped on to it, "Perhaps this was a mistake, coming back here."

"Why did you?" He asked her again, placing his foot next to the doors so they wouldn't close in front of her.

Ziva rolled her eyes at the same question he asked her last time she was here. "It does not matter." She looked down at his foot, "Move your foot, please."

He sighed and stepped onto the elevator with her, and the doors closed in front of her. "Can we have lunch?"

She still didn't look at him, "I do not think that is a good idea."

Rubbing his tired eyes again, he looked at her, "Have lunch with me, please? I'll give you a call when we're wrapping up the case."

Ziva stepped out of the elevator when it's doors opened at the lobby, "Fine."

"Okay." Tony watched her as the doors closed again and he leaned forward to press the button for his floor.

He had so much to tell her; there was so much she missed-including his relationship.

He just hoped she understood.


	3. Chapter 3

Ziva was surprised to find Tony already at their reserved table, the waiter bringing a bottle of wine and setting it and two wine glasses on the table as she approached. Tony spotted her when the waiter moved away and he stood.

He cleared his throat, "Hey."

She lifted a corner of her mouth, "Hello."

She scooted in on the other side of the booth and he sat down again, "I got the wine you used to like, I'm assuming that hasn't changed."

Ziva looked at him, her lips slightly parted, but she closed them when she saw the look on his face, "No, nothing has changed, Tony."

He laughed, "I beg to differ. A lot has changed, Ziva." He finished pouring her wine and poured himself a glass, taking a sip and then spinning it in a circle with the stem. Scratching his nose, he searched his brain for anything to talk about, "So, um, thanks for switching to dinner. Gibbs had McGee and I go pick a witness from Elkridge this morning. Traffic was a nightmare, so I knew I wouldn't make it back in time."

Ziva nodded and tried to ignore the knot in her stomach that formed when she heard Gibbs' name, "It is fine. I do not have anything else to do right now." He narrowed his eyes at her as she took a sip of her own wine.

"Right now? What does that mean?"

She turned her head like that was a crazy question, "I am looking for a job."

He swallowed and Ziva could see the nervousness in his eyes, "Oh, so you're staying?"

She looked away from his eyes and into the waiter's as he took their orders. Once Noah was gone again, she looked at Tony again and sighed, "Yes, I think so. I am happy when I am here, in DC."

Tony nodded slowly, "Oh, okay. So um, where are you thinking of applying to?"

She took a long sip of her wine as she thought about the answer to his question. "I am not sure. I have not done this in so long, I do not really know what is out there. I do not see myself standing behind a register all day long or sitting behind a desk all day."

Tony chuckled and let a smile spread across his lips, "Well, on some days you sat behind a desk all day long when you worked with Gibbs. Especially if he was in a bad enough mood just to make you stay until all the paperwork known to man was finished."

She laughed softly, "Yes, that is true."

He sipped his wine again and reached for the bottle to refill it, "The only fun part is throwing things at McGee."

She smiled, "I went to visit McGee and Delilah, Abby too. They seem well."

Tony nodded, "Yeah, they're good. McLilah seem pretty happy. McGee is sickening most mornings with that goofy smile on his face."

Ziva chuckled, but her smile grew for her friend, "I am happy that he is happy."

Tony shrugged a shoulder, "Yeah, me too. Abby was dating some guy, Dale, I think. But she broke up with him recently."

She nodded, genuinely interested in the update on her family, "How are Ducky and Palmer doing?"

He nodded again, "Good. Ducky is the same, Palmer and Breena are trying to have a kid."

"Good for them. I think Jimmy will make an excellent father."

Tony laughed, taking a gulp of his wine and waited while Noah put their food on the table, "I agree. Can't be any worse than mine."

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows at him, "Your father is trying, Tony. How is he doing?"

Tony was sawing off a piece of his steak with his knife, "Okay, I guess. He had a mild heart attack a few months ago. He must be fine, because he's getting his way on flights and hotel rooms again, even though the doctor told him to take it easy on the flying and traveling." He ate the piece of meat and when he was finished chewing, he picked up his water glass, "But at least we know where I get my damn stubbornness from."

"I am sorry to hear about his heart attack." Ziva said. She pushed her salmon around on her plate, looking up at him again when he spoke.

"He likes you a lot, Ziva. He asks about you all the time."

She smiled a little, nodding, "I care for him as well."

"He liked Ellie okay, but he still asked about you every time I saw him. He still tells me that I'm an idiot for not marrying you."

Ziva pressed her lips together and looked down at her plate. Tony chuckled and finished off his second glass of wine. He reached for the bottle and poured a little more in hers and filled his up again.

She softly cleared her throat, causing him to look up at her, "And how is Gibbs?"

Tony watched her as he lifted his wine glass again, taking a swallow, "He's the same stubborn, head slapping, coffee drinking, amazing investigator super hero." She nodded, pushing the food around with her fork. She waited until he spoke again to look up at him, "Have you seen Gibbs yet, Ziva?"

She shook her head, and she could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. A few seconds later, she could still feel his eyes on her face, so she made herself meet his green eyes, "I am not sure what to say."

"To him or to me?" He asked quickly.

"To Gibbs." She replied.

He put down his eating utensils and sat back, crossing his arms and looking directly at her. She also put down her fork and placed her hands in her lap, "So, you know he knows you're here, right?" She swallowed.

Yes, she knew he knew she was back in town. Not because Abby, Tony, McGee or Delilah told him, she knew they wouldn't, but because he was Gibbs and he knew everything, "The longer you wait, David, the harder it's going to be for you to talk to him." He let out a breath after staring at her, unfolding his arms and picking up his fork and knife to cut a piece of steak. After chewing the bite, he used the fork to point at her, "I'd figure it out soon, David, and get your ass over there and talk to him. It's killing him that you haven't."

That was enough to make her angry, "Is that what you wanted? To make me feel guilty about not talking to Gibbs?"

He sighed, shaking his head and pouring himself another glass, and finishing off the bottle. "No. But it was an added bonus."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. I will go talk to him. But I do not want to stay here and talk to you." She began to slide out of the booth, and he let her get so far as to stand up before stopping her.

"Wait, Ziva."

She sighed, rolling her eyes again, "What do you want to say, DiNozzo? I do not have time for these games."

He was about to open his mouth to argue with her that technically, in fact, she did have time to play games, but his phone rang instead. He sighed and reached for it, but he and Ziva already knew who'd be calling at this time of night, and they both knew their evening was about to be cut short. He ended the call and looked up at her, standing up and pulling out his wallet, "Got a lead on the case."

"I assumed." She replied. He walked behind her, paid the bill and walked outside, standing next to his car with his arms and ankles crossed. She got tired of waiting on him to speak, so she did instead, "Thank you for the lecture."

He nodded slowly, because okay, he deserved that. "Ziva." He paused again, unsure of how to arrange his words, "It's hard for me, okay? It's hard for me to put you leaving behind me."

She nodded slowly and walked around to where he was leaning against his car, "I know." She said softly. "But I am back, Tony. I am here standing in front of you. Why is it so difficult for things to return to the way they used to be? I do not understand why it is hard for you to talk to me."

He moved one of his hands to rub it over his face, "It's hard because I kissed you. I kissed you, and I meant it. But I guess that didn't matter to you."

Ziva took a step towards him and it made him move his head back, "I told you that I had to spend some time alone, Tony. I needed to fix myself. You said you understood."

"I did, Ziva. I understood that I wasn't going to see you everyday anymore and that you no longer had my back. It sucked." She swallowed and looked into his eyes through the darkness. His phone beeped again and he looked at it, sighing a little, "That's McGee texting the address to me."

She nodded, "You should go."

He put his phone back on his belt clip and nodded, "Yeah." She walked around her car and opened her door, stopping to look at him again.

"It meant a lot, Tony. It meant more than you know."

He put his arms over his opened door and flipped the keys in his hands, "You're too late, Ziva." She turned her head just a little, waiting on him to continue, "I've met someone, and I'm crazy about her. I love her." Ziva looked down at the ground beneath her feet so he wouldn't see the hurt on her face. When she got the courage to look at him again, he was sitting in his car, "We had our chance. I think it's best if we leave it in the past."

He closed the door and immediately put the car into reverse, speeding out of the parking lot.

About a week later, Ziva sighed and looked up at the leasing agent, wondering how many ways she could kill him with the BIC pen in her hand.

The man, Mr. Matthews, looked at her and chuckled nervously, "Only two more, Ms. David."

Ziva finished the paper she was signing and looked up at him without moving her head, "It's Dah-veed." She said sharply.

His face changed to look even more concerned, "Oh, I'm so sorry." He flipped the page she finished and pointed at the next line, "And here." The pen made something of what looked like her signature, and she was beginning to wonder if she was even spelling her name right, "Okay, and initial here, sign at the bottom and you have just leased your very own apartment."

She dropped the pen on the desk and flexed her hand. He stood and shook her hand, handing her keys. "Thank you."

"My pleasure, Ms. Davi-" He stopped when she gave him the kill eye for almost mispronouncing her name _again._ "David. When can we expect you to move in?"

She lifted a shoulder, "I do not have much, and it will not take me long at all. I have a few things in storage, but I will have to purchase the rest. I will probably be done in a couple of days."

The fake smile the man had plastered on his face almost the entire time she was with him was back, "Great! Well you let me know if you need any help, okay? Any help at all!"

"Okay, thank you." She shook his hand again and headed up the stairs to her new place. She opened the door and stepped inside, immediately rubbing her hands against her arms to warm them up.

It was cold and empty.

A few hours later, she was putting her books back on the bookshelf she had in storage. She placed a few of them too close to the edge and they fell to the hardwood floor with a thump. Groaning, she knelt to the floor and stacked them again.

She picked up one of the books that somehow turned upside down and landed face down on the floor, causing the pictures that were inside to fall out. She picked them up, looking at each picture. One was a picture that she guessed McGee, or maybe Jimmy took. It was of her and Tony at a crime scene, him standing with his arm around her shoulders, looking at her and smiling, and her looking down at the camera around her neck. Abby had found the picture looking through the ones at the crime scene, printed it and gave them each a copy. She didn't remember what Tony was laughing about, probably some American phrase she had gotten wrong.

But it wasn't even the way he was looking at her that made tears well up in her eyes.

It was the way things used to be so easy with the two of them.

She sighed and flipped to the next picture. It was one of the whole team holding their drinks up after a successful case completion. She couldn't remember what the case was about specifically, but remembered that Vance, even though he wasn't in the picture, had stopped by to offer them all congratulations.

She smiled at the picture, wiping off the little bit of dust that was on it. Again, there was Tony next to her, a big smile on his face. He had his arm around her waist, holding her body tightly to his own. She remembered the touch burning through her shirt. She sighed and placed the two pictures on the top of the stack of books and stood with them all.

After she was finished putting her books away, she went into her new bedroom where more boxes waited to be unpacked, something she was already tired of. She opened one, and then another, and finally found what she was looking for. She picked two frames out and walked back over to her dresser, putting the photos inside.

She placed them on the mantle in the living room and stepped back, looking at each one of them again.

Sighing, she decided that tomorrow, she definitely would be going to talk to Gibbs.

It was time.

The next day, Ziva stood beside her new car, her arms and legs crossed, leaning against it. She was parked outside of Gibbs house, on the street in front of it.

She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and sighed, walking a few steps into his yard. If the conversation with Tony was any indication, this was not going to be a good reunion. She loved Gibbs-and she knew Gibbs loved her. But he didn't like the way she'd left him, and she knew he was going to be a little unforgiving about that.

She was at the front door now, her hand hovering over the knob. She finally put her hand on the cold metal and stepped inside, finding the place hadn't changed one bit. She headed through the kitchen and opened the basement door, hearing the familiar sound of wood sanding happening down below. She took a couple of steps down and looked up at him to find him staring right back at her through his safety glasses.

She took the last step so that her feet were on the concrete and crossed her hands in front of her belt. She waited a few more seconds and looked down at the floor, and then back up at him, "Hello."

Gibbs looked at her through his safety glasses, and quickly looked back down at the bookcase he was building. He threw the tool he was holding and the glasses from his face onto the structure, walking a few steps towards her.

Ziva swallowed the lump in her throat, as he stared at her, "How are you doing, Gibbs?" She asked softly.

He chuckled a little, shaking his head. "How am I doing? Well, lets see." He looked up at the ceiling as if he was pulling his memory from the clouds, "I lost my first agent to a dirt bag, also known as your brother, when he put a bullet hole right in the middle of her forehead. I lost my second agent twice, the first time, I put my own life, and the lives of my two other agents to go and rescue her, and then she leaves again." Ziva looked down so that he wouldn't see the tears welling up in her eyes, "So now, I loose my third agent because she has a huge heart, and she can't let it go, so she goes to get revenge on a guy that fucking shoots her."

She gained the courage to look up at him again, only to learn that he was pouring himself a drink. "I am sorry that you lost one of your agents." She closed her mouth so that she could get some moisture back into it, "But that is not my fault. I do not think it is fair for you to blame that on me."

He had already finished the glass he'd poured himself just a couple of minutes ago, and now he was pouring another. He stared into her eyes from across the room, and Ziva could see the hurt in them. Her gut clenched when he stepped towards her again. "I'm not gonna do this. Go, Ziva. Go home."

"Gibbs I-"

"I don't want you around me. I can't trust you. I won't anymore. Go home."

She was hurt, but she fixed her face so it wouldn't give her feelings away, "I am not going anywhere, Gibbs. I am going to stay." She swallowed, "This is my home."

Gibbs shook his head, setting down his drink and reaching for his safety glasses, "I've heard all of this before, Ziva. I give it exactly 6 months, and you'll be gone again."

She swallowed again, but she shook her head, "You are wrong Gibbs."

He chuckled like she said something funny and picked up a piece of sandpaper, starting to sand as he turned to her to speak again, "Then stay away from me."

Ziva stood and stared at him for several seconds before turning on her heel and heading up the basement steps.

Several hours later…

Tony was sitting at his kitchen table, a case file open in front of him, his laptop off to the side a little. He was trying his hardest to concentrate, the light above him the only one on in his whole apartment. He heard his bed move in his bedroom where Vanessa was sleeping soundly. He put the pen that was in his hand down on the table and leaned back to rub his face.

His lack of concentration had little to do with the fact that his initials are A.D.D, and it had little to do with the fact that he and Vanessa had an argument earlier about their lack of spending time together.

Tony's argument was that they had just spent about 4 hours together, with dinner and a movie, and that his job demanded a lot of his attention.

Her next words echoed in his head, "No, something else is demanding your attention. It's not work and it's definitely not me."

Tony side and stood to get himself a bottle of water.

He couldn't seem to turn his mind off. He wasn't particularly concerned about working things out with Vanessa, she was a great girl and she was putting up with a lot of more crap than most women would've.

But the fact that she knew something else was up with him suggested that she knows him a little more than he knew her.

The case wasn't bothering him, because truthfully, it was solved. He was only working now and skipping out on sleep to catch up with the paperwork.

Yes, technically, it could've waited, and he could've technically had a romantic evening with Vanessa. But since he still couldn't get his former partner off of his mind, he didn't think it was appropriate to sleep with her when all he could think about was her.

The next noise heard made his heart speed up and put his hand on his right hip, searching for his weapon that wasn't there.

The voice he heard was female, and she was yelling and beating on his apartment door. He looked down at his watch next furrowing his brow at the 0200h time.

"What in the hell?" He said out loud and looked over at his bedroom door to see if Vanessa had stirred. She hadn't, so he walked over to the door and looked through the peephole to find Ziva was the one making so much noise in the hallway. She continued beating on the door, yelling loudly for him to open the door.

He swung the door open and immediately started to try and calm her down, "Ziva, what are you doing? I've got neighbors!"

She pointed her finger at him, "It is all your fault, Tony!"

Tony winced when he heard one of his neighbors yell 'shut up!', "Ziva come in, you need to be quiet."

"I am not going in there with you!" Tony had enough. He grabbed Her arm and pulled her body into his, pulling her inside where she continued to shout at him, "Get your hands off of me DiNozzo or I will hurt you." He had gotten all the way into the living room before she fought her way away from him, pushing him backwards so hard that he stumbled a little.

He stared at her for a second, dumbfounded. He'd been out with her drinking several times before, but she had never, ever been this intoxicated.

He remembered that his bedroom door was open a little, and even though he knew she could probably sleep through a train horn, he didn't want Vanessa to wake up to the argument he knew was about to happen with the Israeli. To his relief, his girlfriend was still sleeping soundly, so he shut the door and walked back into the living room where Ziva stood with her arms crossed, staring at him with eyes that wanted to kill him.

He sighed and stood across the room from her, turning on a lamp so they could see each other better, "Do you think you can talk to me calmly and not shout to tell me what in the hell is going on with you?"

"Screw you, Tony. I do not want to speak to you at all. I do not care who hears me."

"What happened? I've never seen you like this." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Maybe I have changed. You were so insistent that I was different, perhaps I am!"

He rolled his eyes at her and walked to the kitchen to get her a glass of water and some medicine he knew she would need in a couple of hours. He returned and found her still standing like a soldier with her arms crossed. He didn't know how much she drank, but he knew it was a lot more than usual. How she was managing to stand up straight and not fall over was beyond him. He sat down in the chair that was across the room from her and tried to talk with her again, "I'll sit here all night if I have to, Ziva."

Her voice was a little lower, but still just as harsh, ? Go make love to her, DiNozzo. That is all you're good for."

That was enough to make him stand up again, but he didn't dare take a step towards her, "You leave her out of this. Vanessa has nothing to do with whatever your reasoning is for acting this way."

"She has everything to do with it!" Ziva yelled back at him.

He groaned internally, "Ziva will you please sit down and talk to me?" She stared at him, her eyes as narrow as they could go without being closed, "You sent me there, DiNozzo. You knew how he would act and you did not care. You sent me there thinking that I would be welcomed back into his life with open arms, and he hates me. He told me to go back home and not be around him!"

"Gibbs?" Tony replied. He was in complete shock, mostly at the level of alcohol in her body, but also that Gibbs words was what got her this way.

"I am done. You do not want me here, Gibbs does not want me here, so I am going somewhere else. Neither of you have to worry about me anymore." She finally moved from the spot she had stood in the whole time, heading towards the door. Tony stood and grabbed her arm, holding it tightly.

"Ziva, I don't know how you got over here, and frankly I don't care. But you're not leaving here in the state you're in. You can stand there all night like you've been doing, or you can lay down on the couch."

She stared into his green eyes and spoke through her teeth, "Let go of me."

"You're not leaving here." He said again.

She tried to move from him, but he held her arm tightly and pulled her into his body again.

She continued to fight him, and in any other circumstance, he knew she'd already have him dropped on the floor. But this time he was winning, and continued to push her back until her back hit the wall. "Let go of me!"

He held both of her arms, his body pinning the rest of hers against the wall, "I'm not letting you leave."

Ziva turned head so that she didn't have to look at him anymore. He finally let go of her arms, but didn't move back from her body. She looked into his eyes again and then down at his dry lips. She pressed hers together so she wouldn't press her lips to his.

They both still breathed hard, the fight wearing both of them out. Tony looked down at her face and spoke softly to her, "You okay, now?"

She looked up to his face again and couldn't help it anymore. She leaned up and wrapped her hands around his neck, holding him in place as she buried her mouth into his. Her head was swimming and she couldn't figure out whether she was dreaming or if she was actually kissing him again.

Her question was quickly answered when she felt his arms wrap around her waist, crushing her against the wall and his body. Ziva moaned into his mouth and Tony quickly broke the kiss, letting go of her and stepping back a little. "I can't, Ziva. I love her. It isn't fair."

She watched him as he went over to his hall closet and grabbed a pillow and blanket, walking back over to her, throwing them down on the couch.

He looked at her again and walked away, walking down the hall and into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He looked at Vanessa as she slept soundly and shook his head in the dark silence of the room.

What would happen next?

He didn't know.


End file.
